You feel your conversation becoming more heated. Do you diffuse it or escalate it further? Lee Ellis says that power struggles follow the pattern below. Do you agree?
If you’re in this situation, Lee suggests two ways that leaders can win these struggles when they come up –
- Recognize what is happening. Most likely you “know you are right” and believe very strongly that the other person is wrong. Check your attitude and energy. What are you thinking and feeling? Can you see that though the other person may be thinking differently, they are likely feeling similar to you? Recognize this is not a winnable battle and in fact the only way to win is to admit you have some responsibility for what is happening.
- Humble yourself and take ownership for your part. As difficult as it may seem, this is the only way to come out of this battle ahead. When you admit that you are not perfect and that you have made some mistakes—which clearly you have—then the struggle is broken. But don’t be sparing and protective of yourself. Take ownership for everything you can think of that could possibly be your shortcoming or transgression.
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