By Lee Ellis
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You’re in the midst of a situation or challenge that instills fear. What do you do? In the animal kingdom, fear produces a “fight or flight” response, and it’s true with people, too. But honorable leaders see fear coming and know how to handle it, right? Let’s explore this idea.
In last month’s leadership article, I discussed the dangers and challenges of power struggles in relationships. But realistically, the biggest challenge for many of us is going to be more subtle and internal—our doubts and fears. I use both terms because some people aren’t able to acknowledge their fears, but they will admit to having doubts. For most situations, I treat them equally because they’re often the same and both can undermine success.
Fear Roots and Causes
Beyond the obvious, fear is often at the root of emotions like anger, shame, guilt, and pride (false pride or hubris).
“Fear termites our self-confidence and torpedoes our personal and professional relationships, further undermining our success and goals.” [Tweet This]
Doubts and fears can also cause procrastination and resistance to reasonable and needed risk-taking, and stymie initiative to overcome obstacles and achieve success. How have other people managed fear in the past? I witnessed it firsthand.
Fear in the POW Camps
As you might expect, fear in the POW camps of Vietnam was never more than one thought away. During my first three years when torture was an ongoing tactic, all it took were the sounds of rattling jailer keys at odd hours to create an avalanche of fear.
Even in the best times, isolation, loneliness, and poor health without medical care could raise doubts that could blossom into full-blown fear. In time, together we learned some tactics to combat doubts and fear that have universal application.
If you’re a leader in the midst of a challenge or battle, if your goals are being threatened, or if you’re not sure whether your new ideas will be accepted, be encouraged and take heart from the wisdom of the POW camps.
4 Tactics to Conquer Fears and Doubts
These tactics might be just what is needed to help take your fearful thoughts and actions captive and reach new milestones –
- Fear is Normal—Learn to Proactively Manage It.
Fear can help us deal with legitimate external threats as well as trigger adrenalin and other chemicals that help us. When my aircraft blew up over enemy territory—right over the gunners that were shooting at me—my fear of dying in the immediate crash helped me make the decision to eject immediately—even into the middle of the militia gunners below. As I was descending via a “nylon letdown”, my focus was not on my fear but on how I could escape capture.
The lesson is that we can train and equip ourselves to make logical choices that manage our fears (instead of our fears managing us). More recently, in the last twenty years my fear of failure was one of several motivators that helped me author five published books. Oppositely, fear of failure not managed can cause all sorts of problems as mentioned above.
- When Fear Hits, Stick With Your Values and Principles.
Even when we’re overwhelmed, we still have choices about how we’ll respond. As the hours, days, weeks, and months went by, the POWs worked out a philosophy to navigate our fears. We engaged in an internal battle to make choices that were aligned with our values, mission, vision, goals, and commitments. Through this struggle to keep our commitments, we grew in courage, and that is the greatest antidote to fear.
“Once a leader clarifies what is really important, he or she can make courageous choices to achieve goals even when faced with doubts and fears.” [Tweet This]
The lesson I learned (and can see it operating in all successful people) is that we must be willing to suffer to be who we are called to be and to achieve our most important goals. Need a set of values for you or your team? Download the Honor Code.
- Be Willing to Suffer for the Right Causes.
Great achievements are generally the culmination of a lot of delayed gratification, making hard choices and doing hard things—and yes, suffering. So when you look ahead at your goals, consider your passion for them. Is your passion and commitment strong enough that you’re willing to suffer to achieve them? If so, then you’ll be able to lean into your doubts and fears to do what is needed. Our goal as POWs was to return with honor. Through our willingness to suffer, we walked through our fears and came out victorious on the other side. You can do the same.
But to ultimately get results and achieve our goals, we must also balance and value the importance of strong relationships. This point leads to the last tactic.
- Don’t Fight Fear Alone.
The worst situation as a POW was being alone. The same is true for every human being. We need connection to others who can support us with wisdom and encouragement. Mutual support is the critical need of every warrior and every person who is fighting the battles of life.
Engage with your key support team to help you courageously lean into the pain of your doubts and fears. As a leader, you also have the power to create this culture of support.
Fears and doubts are part of life and especially a big part of leadership. Thankfully, we have ways to manage them. Lean into the pain of your fear and do the right thing—believe in yourself—I believe in you.
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